There was blood, it was on him, on his hands, everywhere he looked, green blood. His stomach was twisted in knots, he entered sickbay holding on to the alien hand he called friend. He was cold, Spock did not like the cold. As his body was placed on a bio-bed he searched McCoy's reassurance that he would be o.k. McCoy's usual smile was not met but instead a worried glance.
"Bones, how is he? Will he live?" said Jim not knowing if he wanted an answer.
"It's too early to say Jim. I'll let you know after surgery."
Jim hadn't realized but he was still holding his friends hand and that he had to let go. The moment he did he felt fear, fear that it was the last time that he would touch his skin to his.
"Jim, I'll do everything I can, you should go rest. Scotty has the conn that's an order." said McCoy his tone strong and gentle.
"You'll let me know if there is any change?" said Jim quietly.
"You'll be the first to know. Please go rest."
McCoy left Jim alone with his thoughts.
The captain quickly bolted out of bed when he heard McCoy's voice over the intercom. He quickly grabbed his robe and went to answer it.
"Kirk here Bones how is he?" said Jim wanting to detect good news from his friends voice.
"He's out of danger Jim. He lost a lot of blood but we gave him a transfusion and now he's in his healing trance. We just have to wait til he comes around."
"Ill be right there Kirk out." said Jim anxiously.
The captain arrived in sickbay and went straight to the bio-bed where McCoy was hovering over. As he approached he again felt fear, but mixed with relief.
"Jim you should rest he's not conscious yet". said McCoy quietly.
"I just want to see him, let him know that I'm here."
"I never got a chance to look you over how are you?"
"I'm fine Bones, just a few bruises that's all."
"Sometimes it isn't just the physical that's hurt Jim, emotionally I think you are in a lot more pain then you realize." said McCoy thoughfully to his friend.
"Bones, he did it again. He leaped before he looked. This is the third time in a month. I keep telling him he doesn't have to protect me with himself as a shield. He isn't quick on his feet like I am. He's tall, gangly, uncoordinated. I believe he'd trip over his own feet if he tried to dance."said Jim in a half sad smile.
"I know, hey come for a drink I got some good stuff it'll help kill the pain."
"In a moment o.k. I..I .just want to be with Spock a bit." said Jim quietly.
"O.K. I'll get our drinks ready."said McCoy heading for the liquor cabinet.
Jim went near Spock and held his had. It felt warm, he was gonna get better and that made Jim relax a little.
Jim looked at Spock's figure lying motionless. He looked peaceful when he slept and younger. Jim squeezed Spock's hand a little more. McCoy stepped out of his office and saw Jim next to his friend holding his hand. McCoy feeling that he was intruding waited in his office for him to come.
Moments later Jim was there and McCoy gave him his drink. Jim took the offered drink and downed it. The feeling of the burning liquid going down his throat hurt but he needed it to numb the feelings that were surfacing.
"Somethings bothering you Jim what is it?"
"I'm fine, just a little shaken up. Can I have another?"
"Jim it isn't like you to be drinking without taking your time. Stop pacing, sit down and talk to me."
"I didn't realize that I was pacing Bones. I was just trying to get rid of some pent up emotions."
"So what you are pent up about? Or do I have to guess?" said McCoy with a smirk.
" What is that supposed to mean?"
"No, you started it what do you mean by your statement?"
"Jim we've been friends for as long as i can remember and you've been captain now for over 4 years. I know you, sometimes more than you know yourself."
"I see how you look at Spock, you care alot about him."
"I care for my crew Bones, isn't that normal. When they get injured I feel responsible. I can't help being close to them."
"Jim, there's a difference, you don't hold hands with everyone who gets injured. You do that only with Spock."
"That's different, he's my friend, my science officer, my first officer. He's important to the well being of the ship. Starfleet has alot invested in him."
"What about you Jim, what do you have invested in him?"
"I don't know where you are going with this."
"Do I have to spell it out for you. You've been biten by the love bug. You're in love with Spock."
Jim stared at McCoy and a smile began to surface the Captain's face.
"Bones, you've been taking to many trips to your liquor cabinet. You need to sober up."
"You're denying it?" said McCoy increduosly.
"Yes, I'm denying it. What you suggest is ludicrous. Spock is my friend period just like you are."
"Funny, i don't remember my hand being held and talked too like someone's lover."
"What are you insinuating Bones? That I want Spock in a sexual manner?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying."
"You need to see a shrink. Better yet I'll make it an order."
"You want proof Jim. Haven't you noticed the amount of time you spend with him. You're with him on the bridge during your shift, when your shift is over you still seek him out. Either it's for a game of chess, breakfast, lunch, dinner in the mess hall, workout in the gym, swimming, racketball the list is endless. Lately you don't even want to come with me for shore leave to see the ladies you'd prefer stay on board to spend more time with Spock because poor little Spock doesn't like shore leave. The only time you are not together is at night. Don't worry you keep this up it won't be too long that.."
"Shut up. Shut the fuck up Bones. Don't you dare go there. I, Captain James Tiberius Kirk is not gay. Never have been never will be. Got it."
"I can't believe you Jim. You've always been accepting in any forms of love. Atleast that's what I thought. Do I have a homophobic in front of me?"
"I do not care what people do behind closed doors. I do not need it to be shoved in my face. I am apalled that would think that I would have those tendencies. I have been a heterosexual male for as long as I can remember, I love women, love their legs, their breasts...etc. You cannot make me believe that one day I
happen to meet a man and boom I'm gay."
"Maybe you just don't realize what you are doing when you're in Spock's space. You smile at him, only him. You look at him like you want to devour him. You brush up against him or fake back pain for him to give you a massage. You are constantly in his personal space. Need i say more."
"I am not gay."
"O.K. Jim, you're bisexual then."
"I'm needed on the bridge."
"Scotty is in command."
"Then i'll relieve him. Anything to get away from you."
"Jim your living in denial. If you don't believe me try a little experiment for me. When Spock regains consciousness I want you feel how you are feeling when you are in his presence. When you are on the bridge and he's at his station I want to look at him and feel what you are feeling. I believe you'll have your answer."
Jim stood up, downed is second drink that McCoy had poured for him and walked out. He wanted to be near Spock's bed again, to touch his hand but thought against it. It would only give McCoy more ammunition. So he left sickbay and headed to the bridge with remnants of Spock on his mind.
Je vais commenter en français, c'est beaucoup plus facile pour moi. J'ai beaucoup aimé cette petite histoire, j'imagine parfaitement cette scène dans l'épisode. Ha, et ce cher Jim, toujours a nier ce qui est évident pour tous ceux qui ont les yeux ouverts! J'ai lu que tu as écrit cette histoire il y a un an... n'as-tu jamais envisagé d'écrire une suite? Ca pourrait être intéressant!
Je vais te repondre en francais mais pardonne moi pour mes fautes...Je l'ai fini mon amie. Je vais poster le prochain chapitre dans quelque temps...la seule chose qui me gene c'est je ne peut pas poster de photo ....ca m'enerve...je continue de savoir la raison...donc quand ca va etre regler la deuxieme partie va etre vu...merci ma chere...
Je ne sais pas qu'est ce qu'il passe ...tout mes photos je ne peut pas les rejoindre..ca me choque...je vais continuer....c'est frustrant parce que je suis ici pour poster des photos avec mes histoires et poemes..et je ne peut pas...grrrrrr
Hello there..I wrote this a year ago..it has lots of mistakes in grammar and I think Spock is a little or maybe way out of character later but it was fun to write. I got 17 reviews from the K/S archives but it wasn't all good...Have you heard of Hypatia Kosh...she commented on it..some was good some was not but that was ok..she wanted to take it upon herself to correct grammar and punctuation..so she said she had 40% of it corrected on her account on livejournal...said she'd get back to me when she was done...well she never got back..some people will read for the fun of it while others don't think you belong with others of a higher quality of writing. I do understand that. I do want to learn to improve. So anyways I am going to post part 2...if you find anything totally weird do let me know. One will never improve if one does not hear honest criticism...even though you many not want to hear it..thick skin is what I need...I can't seem to upload a file..I wanted to add another picture for the second chapter...I hope I didn't do something wrong and deviantart are preventing me from doing so...because I have noticed now for deleting a file from your folder you have to press the shift key to confirm..it wasn't like that yesterday...thanks again my friend...you are the best. love you lots xox
Hypatia Kosh wrote a very good story called They Walk in Shadow, it may be over at the archive, but I got it from the old Side by Side journal, I have the link if you don't...it was a superb piece...she is the partner of Farfalla, who used to be the admin for SBS, and has her own huge website with tons of links, www.cosmicduckling.com...Farfalla has tons of stories over on the archive, too, I think maybe 50 or so...she was quite prolific, usually wrote humour...
...in regard to HK did she simply take it upon herself to correct your story? That's not proper...one should always ask first...and do so in private...I do beta readings, have done 25 so far, in fact, I'm doing one for a friend later this afternoon...I've done beta for TOS and re-boot...but only if someone asks me to, it's none of my affair if their story needs help, it's up to them to request that...i'd be rather offended if someone just took it that they should do re-write or correction without my permission...
...HK and Farf are supposedly no longer into the fandom...Farfalla just abruptly shut down SBS after seven years, and so many great stories and great art and even an e-zine...for me personally it was a big loss, because SBS was my introduction to K/S, and lead me to where I am today...
...DeviantART can be strange...I STILL cannot upload fic, I followed the directions to the letter but after four months I still cannot seem to succeed...I've asked the admins for help, and followed their instructions, but still the upload reads "error" everytime I try...not sure what it is that I'm doing wrong...
...as for writing and publishing online, ALL authurs are welcome...none of us are professional, many write in English as a second language and are to be appluaded for their efforts...ever read any thing by an author called BatsRg8t? Bats-r-great? Bats had fabulous story ideas, her stories were exciting and deep and just wonderful to erad, but her English sucked! LOL...but you know something, that was perfectly okay, because her writing was so brisk and so colorful and she totally had Kirk down pat and her Spock was very good too, so actually you could read her stories and enjoy them for what they were, wonderful K/S, good and hot and not a plot hole to be found in any of her work...
...nobody has a cornerstone on so-called quality; the storyline is everything, and keeping the characters as true to recognition as possible, although there are those BDSM stories by people like K'Chaps that kind of leave me cold, because I don't much see Spock as a dom, at least not in a BDSM lifestyle...although I do see him as dominant in the bond...
...but that is because his is a dominant personality in private, compared to Jim's, who in public is a great commander, but in private needs a lot of attention and a lot of care...he needs to be controled in order to feel safe...but that's a discussion for another time...
She did ask permission but she does that..when someone writes a story she will give her point of view to every chapter...and that is what she did..my penname on k/s archives is Dahliaxat...I have two beta readers but don't seem to have the time to use them...I know I should..one hails from England and the other from Canada like me..I am trying to find my voice...
I am really scared my friend I can't get to my pictures on facebook..It isn't even facebook but my own photo's that I have kept on file..It was working fine this morning..I am trying to upload a pic for part two of denial and acceptance but it won't let me...it won't upload a picture from my files...I have tried on my groups and still nothing I have no idea what is going on..I have such a huge collection I hope they are not lost....
Yes, I"ve been to your archive and read virtually everything over there, but have yet to leave a comment, please excuse that...as for FB, is there anyone you can get in touch with? Do they have a FAQ, or some form of mod? This is terrible...
It's ok now thank god...I was really getting worried..ah you went to the archives...not many people appreciate poetry. If it says all audiences and it's poetry they usually skip it...and I don't blame them too much. I would be drawn more to first times and such. To get their attention I posted a pic with my poem when it was a recent entry so they have this picture staring them in the face begging to be read...it wasn't bad for awhile. But then someone complained I think and Killa I think her names is removed them...and changed ther rules thereafter. You couldnt post a pic with your story. Oh well c'est la vie...
these are simply my
opinions and are not
meant to imply that
you should agree or
disagree nor should
these prove to be
offensive in any
way; if I do come
then you have my
Magepresented by the
This article came
about after a
requested that we
write ten clear,
simple tips for
information can be
very useful, but
it down into
chunks is so much
easier. So without
further ado plea...
This feature is for
all the happy
couples in the
world, the love
shared in families,
and for the good
friends.What I see
in these pictures..
The love, the
tenderness.. This is
what I search for. I
really hope I will
find someone like
you already did.Look
upon the sunand
think of that...
Hello everyone! Here
is another volume of
wonderful art! :la:
:heart:I tried using
sta.sh writer wooo
:woohoo: - PLEASE
FAV :+fav: THIS
JOURNAL SO THAT MANY
DEVIANTS CAN SEE IT!
- A NICE COMMENT
MAKES SOMEONE'S DAY
:hug:- THANK YOU FOR
let's share the
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More